Special ‘Philadelphia Frolics’ Edition:
With Dallas taking a well earned break after their convention last week, this week it’s been back-to-back episodes of Dynasty coming live from Philadelphia.
This week’s storyline has not disappointed soap fans:
- The ‘conspiracy theories’ of those that ‘feel the Bern’ have proven to be conspiracy facts. Yes folks, the ‘totally impartial’ DNC has been working to undermine Bernie Sanders throughout the entire primary process…shock horror…the only surprise to those of us not living in a padlocked biscuit tin is that the idiots did their plotting on email…
- The DNC issued an apology for its behavior, promising to ‘learn important lessons’ and never to do it again. This amounts to ‘damn it, we got caught, must be more careful next time…aw shucks bummer’
- Debbie Wosername surrendered the gavel, slipped out quietly and later announced that she had ‘taken one for the team’…but immediately rallied back into a job with Hillary’s campaign group…no change there then
- The Dems rallied around their great leader…apart from the significant number of Sanders fans now ‘feeling the Burn’ who suffered from verbal flatulence every time Hillary’s name was mentioned
- The spin machine promptly got to work in the press and ran the tried and tested ‘look…what’s that behind you?’ routine. Everyone turned round to see what it was, only to find nothing there…but hey presto when we turned back to face the spinner, all the emails had disappeared and sitting there in front of us on the table was…the Russians…the spinner shrugged his shoulders, flashed his ivories, and announced with a dramatic flourish…yes folks it was the Russians…we're NOT a bunch of disgusting creeps - the guy to blame for this is Vlad the Bad who wants to make US look like WE'RE the villains…
- Meanwhile Trump found a microphone and some of his best ‘snarky’ and promptly announced that he hoped the Russians would also release the 30,000 deleted emails from Hillary private server. 'I want to see what’s in them', barked Trump…‘So do we’…cried millions of soap fans around the world, anxious to find out how this episode of Dynasty will end…’
- Back in Philadelphia this was leaped upon by the Dem spin machine…’See, what did we tell you? Trump the Chump is in cahoots with Vlad the Bad…it’s treason I tell you…treason of the highest order…treachery…gollum...gollum’
- All this left a question hanging over editorial desks and commentary forums across the globe…who has the missing emails?…will Hills fall into the vat of mayhem the Russians have left her dangling over?…are more foul deeds afoot?...can it really get worse from here?…is this paragraph starting to remind you of an episode of Batman?…
But don’t worry dear readers…as I revealed on the FT site yesterday…I've got the deleted emails. They were given to me by an unemployed 18 year old kid in our village who has too much time on his hands. As some of you will have suspected, I work for the Kremlin, and I've verified that they are genuine. If you look at the last three letters of my moniker, you'll see I'm qualified to make this assertion. Anyone who wants to see the emails, but who doesn't want to be seen communicating with Soviet scum like me, should call the NSA. They've had them all the time…
Seriously now...after all the drama of this week, I’d like to leave you with a thought…a disturbing thought perhaps…but one that needs to be entertained on an individual level, if it is to be entertained at all…because surely no-one in the mainstream media will go near this…
The NSA has a vast e-archive in Utah. Everything that went to Hillary’s server will have touched a tapped cable somewhere. And if the NSA didn't know there was a server in Hillary Clinton’s basement…well let’s just say that the chances of that are as likely as my dog not noticing me eating a piece of my dear wife’s special lemon drizzle cake…somewhere between zero and don’t make me laugh. Alas it seems that the NSA, an organisation that is multiple times bigger than the CIA, no longer exists…certainly not as far as the FBI, the Justice Department, the White House, the NYT, the WaPo, the FT, etc…are concerned.
This soap opera has a long way to run. Julian Assange has zero reason to go easy on the establishment. This was the aperitif. Personally I can’t wait to see the tranche that comes out just before the first debate…
To finish on a lighter note, here’s a little YouTube clip entitled: 'Did Bill Clinton Fall Asleep During Hillary’s Speech?'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPbUhcvDgCo
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And that was the other news…Saturday 30th July 2016...a good weekend to all…MarkGB